Wednesday, 10 September 2008

on trading sewing needles for hypodermic ones...

I have two self portraits today:
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The first is after emailing my professor to say that I'd have to miss real class tomorrow in lieu of "chemo class". I get my port put in tomorrow as well. One of the only things I can't take- the only thing that breaks me down- is the very real possibility that I won't be continuing school. I cry every single time I email my teachers.

I also got a call from the surgeon this morning- the cancer has not spread to my lungs. joy! We have two options: surgery or radiation. Surgery would involve taking out half of my pelvic bone. It would be years of recovery, and I most likely would need to walk with a cane. Radiation involves some very unpleasant side effects and the possibility of me turning into Rogue or having some sort of nuke superpower. Needless to say, I chose this option.

I am grappling with the issue of infertility due to radiation. It's fucking depressing, let me tell you, because I would make such a rad mom. They will save my little eggies for me just in case, but really, it's like having your womanhood stolen from you.

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Later on the sister and I went to the super AZN mega mart in south sac to buy ancient chinese secrets and jolly jelly shooters.

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always match your shirt to your trolley.

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I bought ol' san lazaro so I can light him up and meditate on the fact that at least I'm not that guy.

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