The Make a Wish Foundation does not grant wishes to those over 18. This is arrant ageism, and particularly cruel due to the fact that my kind of cancer typically effects the pre-pubescent. To be honest, my wish would be adult and way-lame, like scoring a job interview with Alexadre Herchcovitch or something. Nothing like celeb-dates or closing down Disneyland like Miley Cyrus did for her birthday. We'll save those wishes for the leukemia babies.
But, if I did get a celeb dream date, who would it be with? I can narrow it down to a battle between The Soup's Joel McHale, and former daily show corespondent Mo Rocca. Let's compare, shall we?
While Joel McHale wears 2k suits and underwear made entirely of vintage baseball cards (Jose Canseco, you have a whole new kind of streak coming!), Mo Rocca has nasally sarcasm and the deadly Italian/Colombian hafsies combo that makes any girl wish she was a cartel boss' trophy wife. McHale has the Soup and Rocca has the Smoking Gun. McHale is married and Rocca is, I'm pretty sure, like 95% gay.
Who would win?
I think I'd have an easier time getting into Joel's pants than Mo Rocca's, thus being able to procure his baseball card underwear, sell the cards on eBay, and appropriate enough money to cure my cancer. This is no pious endeavor, mind you- the curing of Ewing's Sarcoma would be purely selfish. Basically, I'd win.
So that's pretty much what I've been thinking about lately. Cast your vote now!
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